Oh hey remember that thing…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on December 28, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

We’re not dead.

 

Well at least we hope we aren’t. Sometimes I have this moment where I think I am really dead and working in retail is my hell. Like this one time I totally thought I was in the matrix when I fell asleep in class—

 

That is hardly the point though.

 

I do want to have this issue printed not just because I like it but because we promised these really awesome artists that we would print their shit. That was a promise and we’re completely dropping the ball.

 

I feel like a douchebag.

 

I’m not good at this stuff, you know? 1/2 Nelson is suppose to be fun and kick ass and to always be on my terms. My first rule when starting 1/2 Nelson, the moment it wasn’t fun anymore was the moment it had to end. And I shouldn’t have to choose between paying my loans so I can get back in school and printing a book that I don’t see any revenue back from (that sounds bitter but really, it is the truth).

 

Now, don’t panic. This isn’t a break up letter. At least we don’t think it is. I think this is a we need to bring our relationship to the next level letter. Its hard to print this stuff with limited funds. And its hard to stay focused when its a two person thing who has separate jobs and separate lives and separate artsy things to do on their own. Setting up and formatting the issue can be super boring as well, it eats up a lot of time and requires a lot of cutting, pasting, and patience. And I have a habit to lose interest quickly which makes it take longer for that to get finished. If this was the only big project I was working on in my life, it would get done faster.

 

So here is my proposal for issue Three.  We will print on demand (this will have a price tag but you would only be paying for printing costs).

 

And offer a .pdf version of 1/2 Nelson for e-readers and junk for free.

 

Contributors who do get into the issue will receive two free copies as usual, printed of course.

 

If you hate it, punch us in the gut (I cry easily).

 

If you like, let us know.

 

We hate feeling like douchebags and I try my best not to be one unless the individual who is at the receiving end is completely and utterly deserving.

 

Oh. And the cover? We got it. Its going to be embarrassing but we got it.

The Proof is in the Nutella

Posted in Uncategorized on August 31, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

Okay, so there was a post a little while ago explaining issue three and some things surrounding it with no substantial evidence to issue 2, so here, to clear your worries away- THE PROOF!

Wait a minute. Hold on, hold on, we have it somewhere.

No, that’s  laundry…

No, that’s also laundry…

Oh-oh, I found it!

Look at the glossy Mofo, shining in the dim bedroom light, shining like the disco ball at the prom we were too cool to go to. We think that you will enjoy them. In fact, we made a whole bunch so your friends can enjoy them too. Check it out.

So yeah, we totally care.

So there you have it, issue two ready to hit the stands and your hands as soon as we can get it out there. Also, did you guys forget about Issue Three?! It’s like right around the corner, lurking, waiting for you, breathing really heavily- because its the spooky themed issue. We are still looking for any form of Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, Opinion Pieces, and anything else, involving something close to the following:

Ghouls

Ghosts

Goblins

Space

Invaders

Deep Sea Monsters

Freaks

Tongues

Knives

Robots

Dwarves

Your Scary Uncle Dennis

Fruitbats

And really any combination in between.

Once again, here’s the rundown, we want your stuff! Did we mention there is probably going to be a reading? There is probably going to be a reading in October. You guys should check it out.

Type:

Essays
Short Fiction
Flash Fiction
Clip of a longer piece
Poetry
Art
Comics
Article
Review

Every entry should state on the first page…
Name
e-mail
word count
title
Word Count

Currently, max 1800 words.

Format
Words: (.doc) please.

Art: (.jpeg)(.jpg)(.png) only.
Just because its universal for any computer I happen to be working on.

SUBMIT TO: halfnelsonpress@gmail.com

Issue Three ?!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 9, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

Okay, so you might think, why are you talking about Issue Three? Where the FUCK is Issue Two?

Good news! Issue Two is complete, finished it today. So we’re gonna give it a run through,s pell check it and what not, then scrape money together to print it.

However, we want Issue Three out by October!!!!!!!! OCTOBER! We’ve still got a lot of great submissions we’re going through but for issue three we are going to have a twist…..

We were hoping to exploit the spooky/scary/gory cliche the holiday gives us.

So got a horror story? Or a story that is pretty scary?

We are looking for:
– dates gone wrong
– monster
– ghosts
– murders
– blood
– guts
– thrillers!
– kevin bacon’s nooooosssseeee!
– a cover! We need a cover image and make it spooooky or something that can be interpreted as spooky (if anything I will just put a picture of Kevin bacon’s nose.

Does it get the heart racing? Does it make your stomach lurch? We want that story for the spooky special of Half Nelson for October.

Here are our standard guidlines for submitting:

Type:

Essays
Short Fiction
Flash Fiction
Clip of a longer piece
Poetry
Art
Comics
Article
Review

Every entry should state on the first page…
Name
e-mail
word count
title
Word Count

Currently, max 1800 words.

Format
Words: (.doc) please.

Art: (.jpeg)(.jpg)(.png) only.
Just because its universal for any computer I happen to be working on.

SUBMIT TO: halfnelsonpress@gmail.com

Think of it this way, look at your piece one last time before you send it to us. Does it seem like that weird kid in the back corner of the class who kind of talks to himself and smells distinctly like Fritos? Is it something that if read at your Family’s Thanksgiving Dinner would probably have Aunt Etie keel over in the Salad bowl with her third heart attack? Or is it something you know will always be misunderstood and you like it that way?

We want it! Send it! Even if you are unsure, we’ll read it and see how it fits. We’re nice people, I pinky swear.

Someone Drew Us A Picture!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 13, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

So to keep you from asking where issue two is…here is a lovely picture Matthew B. drew us in Issue Two.

Isn’t so modern? So avant garde? SO DEEP?

Send us your deep drawings and we’ll post them up!

Where the fuck is issue two, assholes?

Posted in Uncategorized on May 9, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

I know that is what you all are thinking.

I know.

So now excuses, no bringing up how I owe Columbia College (did I not mention they sent me to collections?), I won’t say anything about my new job I am adjusting to, or maybe the fact that I moved. Nothing. Won’t say a word about that stuff. Why? Well, I find excuses to be super lame and I made a promise that I would stick to something I loved and not let fall into the black abyss of procrastination that is run by gnomes called insecurities and doubt. And Jon’s got school, that’s a legit excuse though. Seriously. School comes first.

Why would I ever put Half Nelson on the back burner? I love Half Nelson and we actually put an issue out. I can’t even explain how proud of myself I am for that. I kind of want to have a plack made saying, “YOU DID SOMETHING YOU LAZY BITCH!” And then underneath it would read, “SO KEEP DOING SHIT!”

So no excuses, just a simple apology and keep sending those admissions.

For everyone who is waiting for a response on their submissions, I pinky swear I have read them and you will be hearing from me. I still need to find my printer in all my unpacked boxes and read the stuff that will be looked at for Issue #3.

So this is just so you know, we are not dead. And we are not undead creatures coming for your flesh…because gross. Seriously. Why would you think that? You’re gross.

But I still love you.

I’m out,

Samantha “Hot as Tesla Coils” LaFountain

P.s. I’ll update again when I finish building Issue# 2

Half Nelson’s Not-so-Official Badass Mascot — John L. Sullivan

Posted in Uncategorized on March 10, 2011 by ½nelsonpress
John "The Boston Strongboy" L. Sullivan

John "The Boston Strongboy" L. Sullivan

When looking for someone to strive after, a hero if you will, it’s best to find the last and first of its kind. That’s John (“mother-fuckin'”) L. Sullivan.

He was the last Heavy-Weight Champion of Bare-Knuckle Brawling and the first Heavy-Weight World Champion of Gloved Boxing! And did we mention his facial hair is so badass it could put you in headlock just by looking at it wrong?!

John L. was the perfect formula for a bad-ass champ:

– Ruthless

– Irish

– Unstoppable

– Hate for authority/authority figures (even though apparently him and Teddy R. were pals)

– Balls of steel

 

John was great because he brought boxing up as a real sport in America and was the first Athelete to make more than million dollars! Wow! Straight up, Baller.

 

Wanna read more about John L Sullivan?

Badass of the Week

John L. Sullivan: The Career of the First Gloved Heavyweight Champion by Adam J. Pollack

Reminiscences of a 19th Century Gladiator – The Autobiography of John L. Sullivan by John L. Sullivan, James Bishop and Teddy Roosevelt

 

 

So in conclusion, expect to see more Johnny Boy here. I’m buying a poster right now to place above my bed to dream in badass and bring Half Nelson up to the badass level John L. Sullivan created, owned, and annihilated!

 

 

 

– Samantha “Cut Yo Ass” LaFountain

Facebook us!

Posted in Uncategorized on March 4, 2011 by ½nelsonpress

Now you don’t have to search for us on FACEBOOK!

 

You can just type…

facebook.com/halfnelsonpress

 

WHAT?! Awesome.